What Are Emotions? And How Should We Respond to Them?

Emotions are a gift from God, but can be a stumbling block if we do not steward them well. Emotions can enrich our life and help us appreciate its fullness. Emotions can have tremendous influence and power over how we perceive our circumstances and how we respond to them. However, emotions hyper—fixate the story our minds tell us, and that story is seldom fully true.

We should listen when emotions tell us action is needed but make decisions on how to act based on faith in what is right and true, following the power of the Spirit. While emotions make good messengers, they are terrible masters.

There are three basic ways we can deal with our emotions:

1. We can Submit to our Emotions.
2. We can Suppress our Emotions.
3. We can Steward our Emotions.

God does not want us to submit or suppress our emotions. He wants us to steward them.

We Should Steward Our Emotions

To steward means to manage or care for something that belongs to another.

Stewarding our emotions means managing them wisely as a gift God has endowed us with rather than being ruled by them or denying their existence. It is the practice of recognizing what we feel, understanding why we feel it, and guiding those emotions toward what is true and good.

To steward an emotion is to listen to its message without letting it dictate our response. It involves acknowledging what we feel. We should consider how our feelings incline us to respond, and choose how we should act. Emotions are valuable signals that need direction, not masters that demand obedience or enemies that must be silenced.

Our emotions are part of the life God has given us, and we are called to manage them wisely. When emotions are acknowledged, examined, and guided by truth, they become allies rather than adversaries.

One of the best ways we can steward our emotions, especially large emotional reactions, is to slow down and reflect before we act. We cannot control what or how we initially feel, but we always control how we act and respond to what we are feeling. So, whenever we FEEL emotions, we should THINK before we ACT. Follow the acronym: “L.I.D.D.”

1. L = Listen

The first step is to listen.

Emotions communicate information. Listening to our emotions is acknowledging what they are telling us to believe or do. Listening means paying attention to what you feel instead of ignoring it or instantly reacting. Listening does not mean obeying what our feelings are telling us to believe or do. Listening to our emotions causes a pause that affords us the opportunity to notice our anger, fear, sadness, etc. before it takes over.

2. I. = Investigate

Next, we should investigate our emotions.

Investigating our emotions is considering what is causing them and whether or not they are legitimate. More importantly, investigating our emotions means that we consider what they are telling us to do, what the consequences of that action might be and what alternative actions we could take. We should consider the outcome of action and determine if that action is in line with God’s values.

In Biblical terms this means counting the cost. Following God will cost us worldly approval and pleasures, but it yields purpose, eternal inheritance, and closeness with God. Following the world may give us temporary goods, but it will cost us God’s approval and the squandering of eternal reward. It is always in our best interest to follow God.

3. D. = Decide

Then, we should decide how we should act. There are only three things we control—what actions we take, who we trust, and what perspective we choose. After we listen and investigate, we can submit all our thoughts to what is true and right. We can trust that God has our best interest at heart when He gave us His commands, and we can adopt a perspective that is true based on His word and the leading of the Holy Spirit. Having then been armed with our shield of faith and our helmet of truth, we are ready to decide how to act.

We should always act in harmony with God’s values. If what our emotions are telling us to do are in line with God’s values, then we should act in line with God’s values. But if what our emotions are telling us to do are not in line with God’s values, we should not do what they are telling us to do.

Deciding how we should respond is one of the three things we can control. (The other two things we can control are who we trust and our perspective). We can control our actions, but we cannot control our feelings.

4. D. = Dismiss

The fourth and final step is to dismiss our emotions. We should ask them to return to their post and thank them for doing their job of telling us that action is required.

This is done after we have decided how we act and respond to what our emotions are telling us. Dismiss means telling our emotions: “Thank you (emotions), for bringing this matter to my attention, I have made my decision and will take it from here. You (emotions) may go back to your post.” Dismissing our emotions is a way to turn off their alarm bell so we can focus on doing what needs to be done.

During the final hours before the cross, Jesus stewarded His emotions and demonstrated what it looks like to faithfully processes seemingly overwhelming feelings. He did something remarkably similar to L.I.D.D. as He faced the crushing emotional weight of what He was about to suffer.

After celebrating the Passover meal with His disciples, Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane (which means “Olive Press”). There, in the quiet darkness of the night, He faced the full weight of what was about to happen. The cross was near. His closest friends could not stay awake with Him. The burden of humanity’s sin and the agony of separation from the Father pressed heavily upon His spirit.

Jesus told His disciples:

“My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”
(Matthew 26:38)

These words reveal the intensity of Jesus’s emotional anguish. Yet even in this moment of crushing sorrow, Jesus modeled how to steward emotion with perfect wisdom.

Jesus began by listening to His emotions rather than suppressing or being ruled by them. He acknowledged His grief honestly and allowed Himself to feel it fully (Matthew 26:38).

Then Jesus investigated what that grief meant and where it led by taking it to His Father in prayer,

“And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me.’”
(Matthew 26:39a)

Jesus examined His emotions in the light of truth. He identified the cause of His distress—the “cup” of suffering and judgment He was about to bear—and brought it before God. By facing His feelings honestly and seeking understanding, He demonstrated that emotions are meant to be engaged and examined, not ignored or obeyed.

After listening and investigating, Jesus decided to do what was right.

His emotions cried out for relief, yet His will aligned with His Father’s will,

“Yet not as I will, but as You will.”
(Matthew 26:39b)

In that single sentence, Jesus transformed His grief into obedience. His decision to submit to the Father’s will was the victory of faith over feeling.

Having made that choice, Jesus dismissed the emotional turmoil that had threatened to overwhelm Him. And when His betrayer came, He was ready to suffer and endure what He must according to His Father’s will for the good of the world and His eternal glory as a human:

“…Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up, let us be going.”
(Matthew 26:45b-46)

The Book of Hebrews bids us to emulate Jesus’s faith and perspective as we deal with our own trials and sufferings and the enormous emotions that so often come with them:

“Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
(Hebrews 12:1b-3)

The process of L.I.D.D.—Listen, Investigate, Decide, and Dismiss—teaches us how to slow down and steward our emotions wisely. It helps us acknowledge what we feel without being dominated by those feelings. By listening, we create space to recognize what is stirring inside us. By investigating, we understand why those emotions have surfaced and what they are urging us to do. By deciding, we align our response with what is true and good. And by dismissing, we release the emotions from control once the right course of action has been chosen. This pattern allows us to experience the full range of emotion while maintaining clarity, self—control, and peace.

There are three approaches we can take with our emotions: we can submit, suppress, or steward our emotions. Submitting to our emotions enslaves us to our impulses. Suppressing our emotions buries our feelings until they harm us or others. But stewarding our emotions—guided by principles like L.I.D.D.—enlists our feelings into a tool for growth and wisdom. When we learn to steward our emotions, we are able to maturely experience the fullness and goodness of life—feeling deeply, thinking clearly, and acting rightly.

Stewarding our emotions is the path to emotional freedom, spiritual strength, and lasting peace.

We Should Not Submit to Our Emotions

Submitting to our emotions means letting our feelings take the driver’s seat and decide what we will do. It happens when we treat our emotions as commands rather than information. Instead of listening to them and weighing what they are saying, we obey them as though they were always right. When we submit to our emotions, our choices are driven by impulse instead of wisdom. Anger tells us to lash out, fear tells us to run, jealousy tells us to compete, and pride tells us to defend ourselves. Submitting to our emotions gives them authority they were never meant to have.

Submitting to our emotions is dangerous for several reasons.

• Submitting to our emotions causes us to lose perspective on reality.
  
  As mentioned above, emotions are unreliable. They exaggerate, mislead, and often focus only on what feels good or bad in the moment. After emotions rule us, we come back to our senses, we often say that we “lost it”—that is we lost our grip on what really matters. We should never react according to our transitory feelings; we should respond with truth and God’s values.
  
  A Biblical example of this is King Saul, whose envy of David caused him to become increasingly paranoid, mistrustful of everyone, and lose touch with reality (1 Samuel 18-20).

• Submitting to our emotions make us unstable.
  
  We become like a ship tossed by the wind and waves of a mighty storm, feeling change faster than reality. And when emotions rule us, as our feelings change, so do we.  We lose our direction and sense of purpose, and possibly even our identity as we constantly shift into the person our feelings say we are,

“Like a city that is broken into and without walls
Is a man who has no control over his spirit.”
(Proverbs 25:28)

• Submitting to our emotions often hurts others or ourselves.
  
  When we are ruled by negative feelings, we say things we should not and make choices we later regret. When we let anger, fear, or envy take control, we react instead of think. Words spoken in the heat of emotion can cut deeply and linger long after the moment has passed. Impulsive decisions made to satisfy or express a feeling can damage trust, wound relationships, and create lasting consequences.

“He who is slow to anger has great understanding,
But he who is quick—tempered exalts folly.”
(Proverbs 14:29)

Moses allowed his anger with the people to cause him to strike the rock in disobedience to God. And for his rash action, Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land (Numbers 20:10-12).

When we are ruled by positive feelings, the danger is different but just as real. Feelings like excitement, attraction, or pride can blind us to wisdom and convince us that what feels right must be right. When we chase pleasure, comfort, or approval without discernment, we can justify foolish or selfish choices because they make us feel good in the moment. Pleasure can dull our awareness of consequences, and optimism can tempt us to ignore warning signs. When positive emotions rule us, we choose our own selfish satisfaction over the good of others and/or we prioritize temporary pleasures for lasting joy. Thus, we become enslaved to whatever keeps us feeling good even as we hurt others. True joy and peace come not from indulging our feelings, but from living in harmony with God and loving others as we love our selves.

Proverbs describes a person who follows their lustful desires (and the emotions that affirm them) as a fool who goes about his way “until an arrow pierces through his liver” (Proverbs 7:23a),

“As a bird hastens to the snare,
So he does not know that it will cost him his life.”
(Proverbs 7:23b)

Samson ruined himself (Judges 16:1-21) and David damaged his legacy through sexual sin in this way (2 Samuel 11:2-5). Both men acted on their selfish and lustful desires. In both cases their emotions affirmed the goodness of their wicked desires and led to their shame and pain.

So whether we are ruled by positive or negative emotions, we often hurt others and ourselves. We may feel justified in the moment, but when the emotion fades, we are left to face the fallout. A person who acts solely on emotion is unstable and will careen from regret to regret—apologizing for what they said or did, trying to atone for what they did, and wondering how things spun so quickly out of control.

Following the feelings of your heart is not freedom, but slavery. True freedom comes not from doing what we feel, but from choosing what is right even when our emotions disagree.

We Should Not Suppress our Emotions

Suppressing our emotions means pretending they are not real. It means pushing them so far down that we refuse to acknowledge what we are truly feeling. When we suppress emotions, we bury living things inside of us. Instead of disappearing, those emotions ferment beneath the surface, building pressure until they leak or burst out in unhealthy ways often through bitterness, exhaustion, cynicism, or explosive anger.

When people suppress or ignore painful emotions like grief, anger, or fear, they often numb themselves to every other emotion as well. This can leave us feeling increasingly exhausted and empty and unable to relate with others.

Suppression disconnects us from what is real and keeps us from learning what our emotions are trying to reveal. Ignoring emotions does not make us stronger; it only blinds us to reality and prevents healing. True strength comes from honestly recognizing what we feel and bringing those feelings under the guidance of what is good, real, and right.

It appears that one of the earliest examples in human history of someone suppressing their emotions was Cain.

Cain suppressed his anger at the LORD and his jealousy toward his brother, because Cain’s offering found no regard before God (Genesis 4:4-5):

“Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.’”
(Genesis 4:6-7)

Instead of following God’s counsel, Cain took his anger out on his brother and murdered Abel (Genesis 4:8). Other negative examples of suppressing emotions include Joseph’s brothers concealing their anger and later their guilt for selling Joseph and covering it up (Genesis 37:4-28, 42:21), Saul concealing his envy of David (1 Samuel 18:8-12), and Jonah harboring resentment toward God and His mercy (Jonah 4:1-4).

David writes about the inner decay and exhausting numbness of hiding his guilt and suppressing his feelings:

“When I kept silent about my sin,
my body wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer.”
(Psalm 32:3-4)

Suppressing our emotions is us trying to enslave them. It is a denial of not only what they are trying to reveal to us about reality, it is also denial of who God made us to be as emotional creatures.

Every day we face a choice about what to do with our emotions—submit, suppress, or steward them. To submit is to become a slave to impulse, reacting to whatever we feel in the moment. To suppress is to bury living emotions until they harden our hearts and steal our joy. But to steward is to walk in wisdom and freedom, managing our emotions as gifts from God rather than being mastered by them.

The process of “L.I.D.D.” (Listen, Investigate, Decide, and Dismiss) is one way we can steward our emotions. We listen to our emotions as messengers, investigate what they are telling us, decide how to act according to truth, and then dismiss them from control.

When we implement and steward our emotions according to God’s design, our emotions are a blessing that greatly enrich our lives.